24 Birthday Jokes


When someone is turning another year older using birthday jokes in a card or for a homemade gift is a great idea.  Looking for some funny sayings about getting older to poke fun at the celebrating person?  We have collected a small selection of funny sayings written by  for your convenience.  We hope you will find them useful.  What a great way to send your birthday wishes and quotes!


  1. No body likes old age, especially when it comes with wrinkles, grey hair, and a big fat number placed on ever piece of ID you have.

  2. The older we get the harder it is to keep those pounds off.  Its too bad we've aged so much, the pounds are starting to make us all look like we're pregnant again.

  3. Blowing out candles on our birthday cakes use to be fun when we were younger, but now that we've added so many candles, the firemen are threatening to have to put out our birthday cakes.

  4. Like life many things are mind over matter and with age, you really have to think it doesn't matter, otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy fighting fate.

  5. When asked if I mind being 'over the hill' I always answer, better than being buried under it!

  6. You know you're getting old when your cake is too small for all those candles.  Its then that you have to switch to numbered candles and retire the single ones.

  7. There will come a time that you will no longer want to be reminded of your age or your birthdays, but you might as well get over that as just because you aren't reminded, you will still be aging every year!  Might as well enjoy the cake and presents if you can't stop the aging process!

  8. My mom has been 43 years old for 11 years now.  It got so bad that one day when she was asked her age while renewing her license she told the lady she was 43.  The lady just looked at her in amazement!

  9. Age is the only thing we continue to receive without us putting any effort forth.  And its the only thing we have no control over stopping!

  10. Even with all the medical advances out there, they still have not found a cure for the common birthday!

  11. We all hit a certain number of birthdays when we stop and think, what the hell happened!  But by this point there is no turning back, we're old!

  12. Age is only a number and you make what you can of it.  So if you really don't like you're number, unlist it and don't tell a single soul!

Funny Birthday Quotes:

  1. Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has no time to form.  Andre Maurois

  2. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  Father Larry Lorenzoni

  3. Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.   Robert Frost

  4. Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.   Author Unknown

  5. There is still no cure for the common birthday.   John Glenn

  6. We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.   Author Unknown

  7. Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.   Maurice Chevalie

  8. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter.  If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.   Jack Benny

  9. Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.   Charles Schulz

  10. You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience.  Author Unknown

  11. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.   Jennifer Yane

  12. First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.   Branch Rickey

We hope you have found this collection of funny quotes informative.  Feel free to take from these to use in your birthday card or for whatever you find use for them.  Make sure you judge the celebrators feelings before poking fun at their new age.  If you know they would think this joke was funny than for sure go ahead.  But if you know they are a little sensitive about their age, be careful which birthday saying you use.  Enjoy!

If you are looking for more funny ways to spread birthday cheer check these out:

Funny Birthday Sayings

Funny Birthday Quotes

Birthday Poems